Monday, February 23, 2009
Xploding Massage, Anyone???
By the way, if you're wondering how on earth I came up with this advertisement - no, I wasn't looking for a pleasurable massage (relaxing is more I like it). I was just browsing for some second hand PCs and then in a sudden twist of fate this - came up in my screen (from sulit.com.ph)
So, just let the picture speak for itself. Xjoy! I meant - Enjoy!
P.S. Don't be shy. He is mascular! Go ahead and send him a text!
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Bascon Na Lang Dear
It's confirmed for the nth time... Papa Piolo is gay gay gay! I confirmed it from 3 different men who had personal ^ehem^ contacts with Piolo; 1 ABS executive, 1 Advertising dude and 1 commercial model.
Good thing, here comes a Papa Piolo look alike - Joem Bascon.
He really looks a lot like Piolo - only more rugged, more delicious and more mmm... wild?
bday: August 29, 1986 (Manila)
height: 5'11"
location: on my bed
Watch our for Joem in Betty La Fea. He will play the part of Mario (whoever that is), hopefully he will have a lot of topless pics.
It All Starts Here
It all started with one message. I thought he was the typical guy; his message was the typical line that guys always use. Sometimes, I can’t help but think that they just copy and paste it.
I know because I, at one time did that, too.
I checked his profile. His primary picture was taken by the beach, shirts off. His tummy was flat (thank God for guys with flat tummies, there’s not much left). I couldn’t tell if he has a 6-pack abs because the picture was miniature and the resolution looked like it was taken with a ½ Megapixel camera, but he looks muy delicioso.
Now, I know better than to be fooled with Friendster photos. A little snip here and a little trim there with the use of Adobe Photoshop can make Ara Mina a size 0.
I know because I just know (and no, I don’t do that if that’s what you are thinking).
But well, there’s only one way to find out.
I texted JC…
Bes, do u know sum1 named Francis fr Ateneo? He sent me a message sa Frndster. Frnd m daw xa.
Right after I sent the message, JC was calling me. And JC, being the exaggerated Chinese-Ilocano kuripot that he is (even though he doesn’t have a droplet of Chinese and Ilocano blood) has probably called me only once in our entire friendship. And that one time was using their office phone.
But he’s calling me with his own bloody cellphone. I immediately answered just so I can say that he called me for once in his life.
“Si Francis? Si Francis na taga Unionbank na nagmamaster’s sa Ateneo? Si Francis? Ha? Ha? Ha?”
He talked as if he’s on the verge of an orgasm. Make that a double orgasm.
“Yes…”
“You must be kidding me!!! That guy is so pihikan and he’s never had a girlfriend. Why would he send you a message?”
“Hey, I don’t know. Kaya nga tinatanong ko sa iyo eh gaga!”
After another minute or so of “Sure ka si Francis na taga-Ateneo? Baka naman nagkakamali ka lang. Palogin nga sa Friendster mo to check with my own eyes? At bakit ka naman niya imemessage?” he finally put the phone down.
I never doubted my charisma with men. And I’ve been used to guys sending me friendster messages all the time (after all I’m wearing a 2-piece swimsuit in my un-photoshopped primary pic). And JC has been used to that too?
So why is he talking as if it’s a BIG HUMONGOUS deal?
No Buts and No Butts
Mauve lost a lot of weight as in. Where as before he was chubby, he is now super lean and said that he owes it to drinking "SOY".
"Baka naman ibang soy yang iniinom mo ha!"
"Hello? Alam niyo namang hindi ako katulad ninyong dalawa."
Mauve was a ceritified Virgin as of last week.
Me and JC? Let's just say - we have experienced some of the best things the world has to offer.
"Omygod, nakita niyo na ba yung poster ni DingDong? As in gusto ko talaga yung catalogue niya kaso I need to buy 1000 worth of bench body items," JC said, sabay sabunot sa kanyang invisible hair.
"Ay oo nga ang hot na niya talaga simula ng naging Sergio siya. Dati di ko siya crush pero ngayon parang bumalik!" Mauve said.
"Oo ng eh... I want the catalogue!"
"E di bili ka ng 1k worth. Tapos ibili mo na din kami! Icredit card mo tapos babayaran na lang namin sa iyo!" We chorused.
"Heh, magtigil nga kayo jan!"
"Pero parang maliit yung pwet nya. Parang basta... maliit talaga eh."
"Parang ang pangit ng name niya, bat naman DingDong? Pano kaya pag nagssex sila ni Karylle. Ding Dong ohhh... Ding Dong. Hahaha."
Some heads turned around. I have to remind our mouths to keep it low especially since puro X-rated and pinaguusapan namin.
"Tingin niyo nagssex sila ni Karylle?" I asked.
"Oo naman!"
"Tingin ko din eh... kasi dati nga mga pictures nila ni Antoinette Taus naka bathrobe lang nasa Sonia's Garden sila." This is a fact. I saw it with my own eyes years back in Toni's Friendster profile. "Pero parang hindi sila bagay ni Karylle!"
"Actually, parang walang bagay kay Karylle. Hahahaha."
P.S. Of course it's not true. We're just damn jealous bitches.
Here are more reasons to hate Karylle...
OMG - Do you see what I'm seeing? Tell me I'm just not imagining things...